prevageMD

I guess I don't really know what it means to get older yet. Days just sort of seem to keep happening. I was upset by turning twenty, but in a general sort of way because of the idea of it. I don't actually feel old (well, of course not, I'm not old, but I don't feel older, either). I see all of these "Prevent aging!" commercials on television and usually laugh. It's the blessing of good, clear skin: you never think about it.

My mom's going through menopause. It doesn't sound like any fun. And for a recovering hippie who never used to even wash her hair more than once every couple of weeks, she's starting to get a little freaked out about how she's looking older. She's been using a device that's something like a Clarisonic and even asked her doctor about Prevage MD. I asked her if she was losing her mind. This is the woman who's worn a t-shirt, jeans, and baseball cap nearly every day of her life, even to work. What does a wrinkle matter? It adds character.

But what must it feel like when you're starting so noticeably to look like a different person? My friends and I, we look very different than we did when we were little, but you don't remember what it was like to look in the mirror as a little kid. When you're fifty, do you remember exactly what it was like to look in the mirror at twenty, unwrinkled, ungray? Do you remember what it was like to get out of bed at twenty-five, fairly easily, no aching joints, good circulation? I know we change little by little every day, but I'd like to think we get an ever-deepening sense of who we are, too. Does it eventually happen that you don't recognize yourself anymore?

Some older folk are really beautiful. My step-grandma is beautiful. She's calm and sure of herself, great to talk to, with a quiet but firm voice that shakes just a little. Her eyes are always wet and that makes them sparkle. My grandma on the other side is also beautiful: strong, opinionated, loud, funny. I'd like to be beautiful like them when I'm old. I'm sure they recognize themselves when they look in the mirror.