Mercury's Mental Match

Sailor Moon Says: "Today, Greg learned a very important lesson. You should do your best in school, and you shouldn't cheat on exams, even if you can see the future." "Yes, and you also shouldn't throw sharp, pointed art instruments at your friends, even if you have had your mind taken over by the Negaverse!" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

An Artful Attack

Sailor Moon Says: "Peggy is a major cool artist. And she became an even cooler artist when she was turned into a Shadow Warrior by the negaverse! Even though Peggy knew that people expected her to be as beautiful as her paintings, she realized that a bit of ugliness and evil was a small trade for being able to paint rocks on air with feathers! So that's why she was so P.O.'d when I used 'Moooon Heallling Activaaation!' on her." "This is where I say 'Take your own advice, Serena,' except that it wouldn't make sense." "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Too Many Girlfriends

Sailor Moon Says: "Today, Lita and I were in a lot of pain. Not only did we discover that Andrew had a girlfriend, but throughout the entire episode, we made the most silly and contorted faces ever in one episode!" "Not to mention slamming into Andrew and falling down! I was in pain for most of the rest of the day!" "Get to the point...!" "Oh, yeah! The moral of today's Sailor Moon episode is twofold: First, each Sailor Scout gets to use her power exactly once per episode, and second, it's always someone who's good and nice who becomes a Shadow Warrior. Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Grandpa's Follies

Sailor Moon Says: "Today, Rei learned that her Grandpa was an evil beast from the negaverse. Your grandpa probably is too, so you should go kill him now, before he has a chance to transform. Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Kitty Chaos

Sailor Moon Says: "If you've got a talking black cat named Luna, you should keep her indoors. If you don't, thousands of violent alley cats will hunt her down and try to kill her for no particular reason at all! "Yes, and there might not be a huge fat blue cat named Hercules to rescue your kitty!" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!" "Rowwwr!"

Tuxedo Melvin

Sailor Moon Says: "Melvin really surprised everyone today. Using shrimp as a weapon was a really good idea, and they look really cool right before he throws them!" "Yeah, I love a guy who will throw shrimp for me!" "Great. I hope she doesn't go into dwarf tossing. GET TO THE POINT!" "Oh yeah. Today, I learned that in some episodes, I'm allowed to use both 'Mooon Heeeaaaling Activaaaation' and 'Mooon Tiaaaraa Maaaagiiic' and not have the spotlight stolen by any of the other scouts! Now, about those dwarves..." "SerenAAA!!" "Ahem. Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!" "Why me...?"

Sailor V Makes the Scene

Sailor Moon Says: "Today, I learned that there was an imposter Sailor Moon going around and doing good!" "Yeah, what you're really mad about is that she didn't klutz out like you do all the time!" "Ohh, Rei, you're always so meeeaaan!! Waaaah!" "Ahem. Any way, today we learned an important lesson - if a Sailor Scout makes her appearance for the first time, she's allowed to use her power more than once!" "Sailor Moon Says... waaah!" "What did I do to deserve this?"

A Crystal Clear Destiny

Sailor Moon Says: "Today, we learned some very important lessons. First, I found out that I was a princess! Second, I learned that in some episodes, I don't get to use any of my powers at all!" "And what a shock that you didn't klutz out at all!" "I learned that I can detect anything at all with my VR visor!" "I learned that I should go into the demolition business!" "I learned that I can jump really high." "I didn't learn anything, since I didn't get to be in this episode!" "It's OK, Molly. I didn't learn anything either, and I was in the episode!" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

A Reluctant Princess

Sailor Moon Says: "It sounds great being a princess, but it's more than waving around a wand and wearing cool clothes. It means being able to order people around and make them do whatever you want them to! "You just try and make me do something I don't want to!" "As your princess, I command you to lay off Darien!" "Well power hasn't changed her. That's good... right?" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Sailor Moon Says: Today, I learned a real easy way to make my hair beautiful! All I have to do is transform! Even though my hair was undone with shampoo all over it, when I turned into Sailor Moon, it instantly changed back to the way it always is! Neat! Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!

Sailor Moon Says: "I've always wanted to be a princess. And today I got the chance! What I didn't realize was that all it takes is to be good throwing the discus! Why didn't I see it earlier?" "Because you were too busy stuffing your face?" "But it was chocolate cheeeeseeecaaakeee!! I loooooovee chocolate cheesecake!" "Oooohh, why me??" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Ski Bunny Blues

Sailor Moon Says: "Today I was rather upset. I realised that every single activity I participate in is a plot by the Negaverse!" "You'd think she'd learn eventually..." "At least the Negaverse's plots are always the stupidest half-baked ideas I've ever seen. I'm still trying to figure out the logic of why the moon princess had to be one of the winners of the ski race." "I still think that I should be the princess!" "Too bad! It's meee! Pbbbbbbthh!" "Not very princess-like, is she? Sigh." "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Ice Princess

Sailor Moon Says: "I used to be a good skater. But I found out that I'm not any more!" "You're not good at much, Serena." "What I'm wondering is why Serena always heals the humans before she heals Tuxedo Mask!" "Ummm.... Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Last Resort

Sailor Moon Says: "I have great friends. It's incredible how they're always there for me!" "Yes, we even show up out of nowhere with no explanations!" "And noone even questions our being there." "Now those are qualities of really great friends. Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Tuxedo Unmasked

Sailor Moon Says: "Today, Amy got really lucky." "Yes, I finally admitted my feelings for Greg!" "I was talking about how you got to use your powers three times!" "Just ignore her, Amy. It doesn't matter whether or not you admitted your feelings for him, though, because he's just going to move away again next episode." "Yeah, too bad, too. He'd be a great help to the Scouts!" "Sailor Moon Says! Or at least tries to say, with all of you jumping in and stealing the spotlight and...." "Kids? Any of you watching want to be the new Sailor Moon? Great pay, all you can eat...."

Fractious Friends

Sailor Moon Says: "Today the Sailor Scouts were fighting to fool Malachite. But some of it was real." "Darn right it was real! I should be leader, not you! You only used your powers once today, while I used them three times!!" "Well, by that logic I should be leader, because I used my powers three times yesterday!" "Actually, I've found a new leader for your group. Meet..." "Sailor Molly! Champion of justice! And-" "Tuxedo Melvin! With the shrimp of steel!" "Sailor Molly says! Heeheehee!"

The Past Returns

Sailor Moon Says: "The title of today's episode was very appropriate. This is the third time the past has returned... and look for more upcoming reruns!" "Today we learned that Queen Beryl did a terrible thing when she destroyed the moon." "You should try to avoid doing that; even more, though, you should try to avoid using such phrases as 'surfer boy,' 'hasta la vista, pretty boy,' and 'majorly toasted, pretty boy.'" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Day of Destiny

Sailor Moon Says: "Today started out bad for the scouts. And it got worse. But not as bad as the original Japanese Sailor Moon - all the scouts die there! So today I learned the most important lesson of all - some things are just too strong for American TV! Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

The Return of Sailor Moon

Sailor Moon Says: "Today I learned that life stinks. Not only am I chased by a monster who knows its name and tells everyone, and turned back into Sailor Moon, but now I have to go through at least 13 more episodes of re-runs! At least I'll get a cool new attack. Sailor Moon Says. Bleah."

So You Want to Be In Pictures

Sailor Moon Says: "Today the Sailor Scouts remembered me, but Darien didn't. Which is kind of funny, since in yesterday's episode he called me 'Meatball Head'." "Today I learned that I can kick Negaverse butt even when I don't remember I'm a Sailor Scout! Cool!" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

A Knight to Remember

Sailor Moon Says: "Today I learned that all of Ann and Alan's cardians are female, even though the lion today sounded male! I also learned that the Moonlight Knight makes really stupid speeches, and that evil lions can claw me with no effect!" "Today I learned that if I'm talking to fire, I don't have to move my mouth! I also discovered that Dic edited out the figure in the background of my attacks that was there yesterday!" "I learned that I shouldn't channel electricity through my body right after I'm weak from giving blood. I also learned that Ken looks just like Ami's friend Greg!" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

VR Madness

Sailor Moon Says: "Today (just like most days), I gave away half of the plot before the episode even began! 'Today on Sailor Moon...' I learned a couple of hard lessons as well. I found out that Darien and the Moonlight Knight aren't the same person after all. I also found out that my Dad has no chest hair. And I learned that the Sailor Scouts can slide around without even moving their legs! Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!" "What I want to learn is why she laughs at the end of every one of these!"

Cherry Blossom Time

Sailor Moon Says: "My friends and I fight a lot, especially Rei and me. But they sure came through for me today, wow! "That's what friendship is all about - getting stuck in a cherry tree and leaving you to fight the Negaverse all by yourself!" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Kindergarten Chaos

Sailor Moon Says: "Today I learned a bunch of new insults! Mina has a real big vocabulary that I never would have suspected!" "Well, being harassed by several little maggots tends to bring out the worst in me!" "That explains the new attack. It wasn't the monster - it was the kids!" "That's right! And if any one of them ever denies my existence again...." "Uh-oh! Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Much Ado About Babysitting

Sailor Moon Says: "Babies! They were everywhere today!" "Yes, I've noticed a pattern. Yesterday the Negaverse attacked toddlers, and today babies! According to my calculations, tomorrow the Negaverse will attack human embryos!" "Well, at least they won't 'throw up' on people! Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Raye's Day In the Spotlight

Sailor Moon Says: "Today they spelled Rei's name wrong! Ha ha ha!" "Yeah, but at least I got to yell at people and lie to my friends." "And those squid costumes that Ann and Alan were wearing are really cool! I want one!" "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Food Fetish

Sailor Moon Says: "Today I learned that everybody likes Alan, and everybody likes the Moonlight Knight - even Amy! I also learned that Amy can type really really really fast with one hand!" "I learned that I can transform into Sailor Mercury without it being shown! This is a new problem for my Grand Unified Theory of the Sailor Scouts (GUTSS)!" "I learned that I can toast my friends and get away with it! Cool!" "I learned that if I get p.o.'d I can toast anyone, and that Ann's tounge is green! I also learned that our show is promoted less than Bananas in Pajamas. Just lemme at one of those bananas, I'll show 'em who's deserving of promotion...!" "I learned that Alan can jump really high, just like me!" "We got to be in this episode! Yaaaay!"

Mirror Mirror On the Wall

Sailor Moon Says: "Today, everyone wanted to be Snow White. But Ann got the part, because she cheated!" "Yes, and cheating is wrong, no matter how big or little." "Yeah, but I still wish I'd thought of it. Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Detention Doldrums

Sailor Moon Says: "Today I learned that Miss H changes moods really quick!" "I learned that I have classes all the time, even after school when Serena has detention!" "And today I learned that when I have to pick a cardian by myself, it doesn't turn out very well." "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Secret Garden

Sailor Moon Says: "Today there was another imposter Sailor Moon! But luckily she was even less competent than me --" "That's hard to believe." "I'm ignoring you!" "Today I learned that Ann wears exactly the same thing two days in a row, and Darien wears exactly the same thing every day!" "I got drained of energy again. Why me?" "I learned that you shouldn't get a huge tree p.o.'d, or it will eat your building." "Sailor Moon Says! Heeheehee!"

Treed

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